'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the North Pole
every creature was stirring, safety was taking its toll.
OSHA threatened a shut down if Santa didn't use care.
Would St. Nicholas even be there?
The children were nestled all snug In their beds;
visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.
Santa and the elves scrambling day and night,
prayed they'd be in compliance before the Christmas flight.
When out in the shop there arose such a clatter,
Santa sprang from his office to see what was the matter.
Away to the assembly line he flew like a flash,
what in heavens name was that big crash?
It was two elves while fitting Dasher with traction shoes for snow,
gave little thought to his tender hooves below.
When, what to Santa's wondering eyes should he see,
thank goodness they were wearing the proper PPE.
Santa was dressed all in faux fur, from his head to his feet,
his reflective red suit, an insulated thermal against cold and resistant
His new safety harness and utility belt were equipped
with a first aid kit and a small laminated copy of a confined entry
The soft rubber stem of the pipe he held tight in his teeth,
had make believe tobacco and a spark arresting cover to make it
His broad face was now covered with a beard-shaped face protector
around his neck hung a digital wind chill detector.
And, despite the back lifting support belt strapped to his belly
it still shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
The little old driver, once so lively and quick,
thought this is the moment; I think I might be sick.
More rapid than eagles and more efficiently prepared, his coursers came,
and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name,
"Now, Dasher!, Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Watch for the dash away warning light then dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew,
in the redesigned DOT-approved sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
The sound on top of each and every roof
was the hydraulically enhanced prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As Santa climbed from his sleigh, and was turning around,
he thought to set the sleigh alarm signaled by that beeping sound.
A bundle of toys ergonomically hung on his back,
he delivered them all, somehow without losing track.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
he filled the last stockings; then turned with a jerk,
His eyes -- Now they twinkled! His dimples again merry!
His cheeks still like roses! His nose like a cherry!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
let the reindeer all know they had no more to dread.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I head him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy, safe Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"